ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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