Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
