She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I skipped work to stalk him.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize
