If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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