wakey wakey hands off snakey
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
