in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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