Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
