OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize