I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So vagazzling was a success
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize