I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
