whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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