Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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