I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
