I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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