I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
