Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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