Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
