I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
