Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
