John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
