Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
