i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
