how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
