: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
