people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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