Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
