Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize