Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
tell your sister to shave her snatch
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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