Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
