I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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