Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Randomize
