this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
