how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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