She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
