If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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