i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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