do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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