You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
