You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
