you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
