I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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