out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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