i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it glows. i had to have it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
