The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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