PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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