On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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