were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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