You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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