I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
