i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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