if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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